Nearly there...

I wrote this on Monday, but this is the first time since then I've been at the internet with my computer...

It is getting hard to think that I’m only going to get to see my kids once or twice more.  I am putting a massive effort into planning my lessons now that all the time seems so precious and scarce.

My last week of lessons, after a useful suggestion from my friend Sally, is going to be focused on the usefulness of language learning, English in particular, in the world at the moment.  I am planning those lessons at the moment, and I just got a big wave of a feeling that’s something like sadness, maybe with a bit of worry, about these kids.  I have tried the best I can to show them that the world outside of this small Sicilian town is big and multilingual, and I really hope that this is something that they’ll take away with them.  These kids are every bit as sharp and intelligent as kids in a good, high-ability school in any other part of the world, but in this corner of Europe they don’t have as much exposure to travelling or other cultures as in my own part of the continent.  This was my reason for doing this job - the idealistic aspiration to bring a subject to life a little bit for a small amount of people, because they really do need English for a lot of things.

It’s difficult to feel motivated to fulfill the ideology in every waking moment, and now I’m so close to the end of my job, I’m worrying about the times I did my lesson planning so begrudgingly, and when I was looking forward to going home, or when they haven’t liked the activity I’ve given them.

I think in real world terms, that’s taking into account that sometimes you’re tired or have a headache or the students are naughty and it’s disheartening, I’ve tried as hard as I can.  It’s not over yet, I have another seven days of teaching, but it’s getting so eerily soon.

Today I reminded my three Monday classes that next week is my last week.  Of course they hadn’t remembered what I’d told them right at the beginning of the year, and it took them by surprise, and it was quite humbling that they were sorry to hear it.  As a person striving to be a good teacher, I try to think first about what the experience is like for them, blah blah.  This post so far has obviously missed out a large piece of the picture.  I have learnt an immeasurable amount from this job.  Firstly the fact of it being my first proper serious job, kind of professional, with responsibility and all of that, that I need to think about a lot and really apply myself to.  Secondly, the personal nature of it.  I have been lucky to meet very many lovely people who are my students and colleagues.  I am free to do what I want in my hour-long slots, so I’ve found a lot of time for lovely interesting conversations, and much as I go on about them understanding the culture behind the language, it’s very much a two-way process.

And of course, the job was the reason for me coming to live all the way out here instead of just going to a university city like a more conventional year abroad student.

I’m getting my head round that weird feeling of a big impending change, that makes you back-evaluate everything, and think back to how wonderful all the wonderful bits were.